Over the past two months, I’ve spent two weekends away from my sweet baby girl. I’m happy to report that she did great! I, on the other hand, was largely a hot mess. Part of me was so excited to escape my current reality for just a few precious days. The other part was overwhelmed with anxiety- about a million questions raced through my mind… is James feeding her something other than puffs? Is she sleeping at my parent’s house? Does she miss me? Does she know we are coming back? Does she feel like I abandoned her? Are her teeth hurting her? Am I missing any milestones?
Totally stereotypically. Totally normal. And, yet, I’ve never experienced this push-pull range of emotions so completely. Traveling solo during my first weekend away also brought up another set of questions that I wasn’t necessarily prepared to answer. All those pesky “what if” scenarios… What if something were to happen? What if there was an accident? I was quickly reminded how fragile life can be. I also immediately thought of a post I had seen on Instagram by Holly from Decor8. In one of her captions about her beautiful little boy on April 25th, she wrote “I’ve never valued my own life more than I do now…”
Ah… I can completely relate. Don’t you just love Holly’s inspirational words? Being Olivia’s mama has definitely challenged me in a completely new way to be the best version of myself. Taking exquisite care of my health, both physically and emotionally, is also a gift to my daughter. Not only do I just want to be around for the next several decades, I want to make the most of it! So many things to teach to her and so much love to give!
And, as if the universe heard my concerns and longing to be a great mama/teacher/friend, I happened to run across a little treasure along the aisles of our local Hallmark store: a recordable version of my most favorite book: Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You. I’ve mentioned this beautiful story before HERE– I just adore it. And, now, my sweet baby girl has a version to listen to in my voice. Knowing Olivia could her me reading and feel all the love from this book’s message made leaving just a little more bearable.